Once upon a time when we had a Cold War with the evils of the Communist Empire, America decided it would be a great idea to finance and arm a collage of Afghan rebel groups known as the Mujahideen. Billions of dollars of aid, most of it in the form of weapons, was funneled to the groups. These groups were the origins of what would become known as al-Qaida.
In a parallel line of thought, Republican strategists decided to enhance and channel the frustration, anger and, in fact, outright bigotry of a significant portion of the U.S. population and direct it all at the Democratic Party, specifically at the first black President of the United States, and pretty much anyone viewed as non-white. For a while, this worked swimmingly, with the Republicans sweeping to victory in the House of Representatives in 2012 on the back of the Tea Party, harnessed to “reinvigorate the Republican base”.
Unfortunately, once the Kraken is released, there’s not really a way to recall him. The Kraken was Zeus’ nuclear option. The difference between Zeus and the Republican keepers of the Mujahideen/Kraken Tea Party is that Zeus didn’t have to worry about nuclear winter. In fact, this Kraken has a mind of its own and now seems to be hell bent on burning down everything in an anarchistic attack on government (except the part that issues the paychecks for the Mujahideen/Kraken Tea Party Congressmen, since, as Tea Party Congresswoman Renee Elmers put it “The thing of it is, I need my paycheck. That is the bottom line,”). She obviously doesn’t think that’s a concern of the 800,000 workers for whom she has cut off paychecks with the terrorist shutdown of the government. Ah, but the Congressional Gymnasium is open, so life is good.
So suddenly the Mujahideen/Kraken Tea Party minders’ concern is that the Mujahideen/Kraken Tea Party’s jihad against government will greatly harm not just the poor and disenfranchised, but might do some damage to those mighty titans (think Zeus having second thoughts about the Kraken after he’s out of the barn) of industry who bankrolled the Mujahideen/Kraken Tea Party in the first place.
Witness Tea Party Congressman Ted Yoho, representing the great state of Florida (one of the states on my no fly list) opining as follows with regard to defaulting on the debt: “I think we need to have that moment where we realize (we’re) going broke. I think, personally, it would bring stability to the world markets .” This pronouncement carries great weight as his many years as a large-animal veterinarian place him among the top financial experts on the global effects of a default. This does, however, we may note, place him at odds with almost every CEO and economist in the world, but, he probably got it straight from the horse’s mouth.
And let’s not forget that these Mujahideen/Kraken Tea Party Congressmen and Congresswomen not only campaigned on their love of country and the importance of the God-given Constitution – they actually took an oath to uphold and defend this sacred document. Ummm… let’s see – has the 14th Amendment been removed? Maybe they skipped that one or perhaps had their fingers crossed when they took their oath.
And, as with the proverbial genie, once out of the bottle, it’s pretty hard to stuff him back in, especially if he’s the size of a Kraken. Whats left of the “moderate” Republicans and business titans who were so instrumental in bootstrapping the Mujahideen/Kraken/Tea Party now talk of channeling their massive campaign funding mechanism, on steroids since Citizens United handed our government to the highest bidder, to “out primary” the Tea Party candidates. The Tea Party is not happy about that. Once the torch of anarchy is lit, it’s hard to put it out.
All that being said, the Mujahideen/Kraken Tea Party is never going to pull the lever for the Democrat, so the Republicans can certainly count on their vote at the national level. It’s up to us to make sure the “independents”, that 4 or 5 percent that actually decides elections, understands that the Kraken is loose, that the Mujahideen has Stinger missiles and that anarchy is its noble goal.
“The Kraken is the end of us. A colossal, elemental beast. Even the gods fear it.”